you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
