Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
