I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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