If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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