Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
