I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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