please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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