A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize