Sponge bath it is.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
