I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
