Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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