i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
my liver is dry heaving
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize