You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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