those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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