then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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