We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
