she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Randomize
