I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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