There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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