Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
