Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize