Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
