I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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