i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
