I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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