sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
