before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
