If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
