Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i now understand why vodka
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
