Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
