That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
