if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
