So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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