Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
