anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
