But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize