Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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