Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize