That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
