Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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