remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My legs feel like baby dolphins
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
