Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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