just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
