I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
