Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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