You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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