two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You need Xanax blowdarts
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
