The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
