I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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