Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
