You're my little dorito
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
