I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
