Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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