The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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