Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
