the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
