thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
