Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize