so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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