with your own penis?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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