I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
