I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
