Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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