For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
