TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize