i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
