dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
