Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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