her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize